Beware of Pride

A few weeks ago, I learned a valuable lesson. I came to realize that pride is, arguably, the most prevalent and most difficult sin. People talk of the seven deadly sins, but pride; pride is the deadliest. There is not one person out there who has not dealt with the ugly sin of pride sometimes even on a daily basis. Pride is so hard to recognize and I think that may be one reason that it is everywhere. There are many forms of pride, but one that I want to talk about, and one that I think the other forms of pride can stem from, is enmity towards God. I've read recently that pride is essentially competitive in nature. One of the definitions of enmity is "a state of opposition to" so when we have enmity towards God, we are in opposition to God. We are putting our will in competition with God's will. I learned this lesson, as I said, a few weeks ago. I have been struggling with something for a very long time and I, for whatever reason, let it get the best of me. I became depressed and in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. I could not see the positive in situations. I could not think about getting out of bed, but I forced myself and just making it through the day was a battle. The reason? I became bitter. I decided that I was too stubborn. I was praying to God one night and I actually said, in my prayer, "Okay, Father. Here's what I would LIKE to do. I would LIKE to get out of bed tomorrow with a lot of energy, get out of bed and study my scriptures (not just read, but STUDY them) then exercise and then go walk around outside the temple and then give service or basically just finish out the day following Christ's example. Here's what I'm GOING to do tomorrow, however. I'm going to ooze out of bed at noon, eat some cereal and watch youtube videos for about 3 hours, take a nap, scroll down Pinterest until I have to go to work, go to work, come home, watch Netflix and scroll down Facebook until 2 AM and then go to bed. Why? Because I'm not strong enough to do what I'd LIKE to do, so I will just do what I usually do. Amen" Worst. Prayer. Ever. I think I was just angry. I was angry at myself for not doing more or being more. I was also angry because God has given me so much and given me so many opportunities to do more and I was essentially saying, "thanks, but no thanks. I'll just be content to do the very minimal, if that" I also stopped asking for things in my prayers because I felt that I didn't deserve anything and that if I asked for something, I would receive an answer, but do nothing with that answer, if that makes sense. For example, I would ask for help with keeping my mind clean and focused on uplifting things, but then when the prompting would come to turn off a show that I "love" I wouldn't turn off that show, EVEN though I had JUST asked for help, I denied that help when it came. So much pride. The obvious pride came from the fact that I would not listen to God and follow what He prompted me to do because, you know, CLEARLY I know better than God does, right? But here's why pride is so tricky. It disguises itself as false humility. "I feel bad that God is doing so much for me (which is true, and recognizing His kindness is a good thing) and I'm not doing enough in return, therefore I can't ask God for more things because that is just rude." (which is not what God wants. He wants you to include Him in all aspects and ask Him for His advice and for things) But it depends on what you are asking God for. Asking God for help is NEVER a bad thing. I was too proud to ask for help. True humility came when I knelt down and asked, first for forgiveness for being such a bitter jerk, but second, when I asked for help, knowing that God does more for me than I can ever do for myself. I wouldn't recommend it, but going 2 weeks without asking God for anything is awful. Again, it depends on what you are asking God for. "God, I need a lot of money, if you could make that happen, it would be great, thanks" or, "God, I want that cute vest I saw at the mall today, can you get it for me?" Even asking for good things, without putting in the effort is still an ineffective prayer, "Father, I need guidance and I need help with patience," and then 2 minutes later you are flipping off the driver in front of you for going too slow instead of recognizing the opportunity to have patience that God is giving you. This is your answer to a prayer and how did you respond to that? Not asking for anything is prideful. It's prideful because I felt like, 'well, I'm not going to listen to God's answers anyways and I would feel rude asking for things, when I know I'm not going to listen anyways, so I'm just not going to ask for anything and that way I won't hurt God when I don't follow the answers I get from Him" How illogical. Where does that leave me: alone. It leaves me to fend for myself which is so very prideful. I can do it, I make the rules, I make decisions, I, I, I. I didn't realize that I was putting my will in competition with God's will. The best thing to do is to pray for help and then FOLLOW what God says to do! And yes, that is hard to do, because we have so many things pulling for our attention and the second we watch that PG-13 movie that we wanted to watch instead of spending time with a friend who may need our help, that is when we show pride. Set aside pride and do something that might be uncomfortable to you, but it is what God has asked (go to lunch with your friend) instead of doing what is comfortable but will have no real value to you. (stay inside and watch 'Orange is the New Black' on Netflix for 2 and a half hours)I'm pretty sure that at least two of the 12 steps in addiction recovery programs are to let go and let God and recognize that you have a problem. They deal directly with pride. They tell you that you are not the most important person, God is. You, of yourself, can do nothing, but with God, you can do anything. You can not do anything with pride in your heart. It is crippling. We know the obvious forms of pride (thinking you are better than others, thinking far too much of yourself and thinking you know everything or that you are freaking amazing) but can we see the subtle pride creeping into our lives? (not willing to say you are sorry because you feel like you've done nothing wrong? Thinking that your sins are too bad for Christ to heal you? Not saying thank you to either God for His chastisement, or to others for pointing out something you could do to solve a problem that maybe has worked for them, even if it didn't work for you?) A scary challenge for you is to pray for humbling experiences. You will receive them. Pray for help in recognizing pride in yourself and situations during the day where you were prideful. The irony is, God WILL show you situations where you are prideful, you just have to be HUMBLE enough to want to change in those times. It's great if I can pray for opportunities to be humble, but if later that day I'm asked to work late to help a co-worker who is not feeling well and I say no because, "I've worked just as hard as her, I deserve to go home and relax in front of the t.v." I can almost guarantee that the opportunities to find humility in my life will be given to me less and less. In every situation you are given, think "who is this serving? Is it serving me or is it serving God?" What's great is that sometimes it is both. It is serving you and God. And once you can see that, you will realize, probably slowly at first, that it's not sometimes, but all the time. God is ALWAYS serving your best interest. He is ALWAYS wanting you to be happy. You just mistake 'pleasure' for 'happiness'. Which is a concept I never really thought about before. I get to this place where I think, God doesn't want me to have fun or enjoy _____ (whatever ______ is.) Really, God is just teaching me a better way. I am still prideful. We all are. It's not something easy to get over. In summary, I have a very ridiculous, but true example of pride: I LOVE the song, 'Problem' by Ariana Grande. I love it. I love listening to it and I love dancing like an idiot to it whenever I get the chance. God has posed the question to me, multiple times, "Brent, what does this song do for you? Does it help you realize your infinite worth like the song 'Gold' by Britt Nicole? Does it make you want to go out and serve others like the song 'I could be the one' by Stacie Orrico inspires you to do? Do you feel good or uplifted when listening to it?" It's pretty embarrassing to analyze and realize that the only reason I like that song is for a couple of reasons. 1: Ariana Grande is gorgeous and her voice is like a thousand tiny angels flying from her vocal chords. (yes, God gave her a wonderful voice, but I guarantee you I am not thinking about Heavenly Father's gifts that he gives people when I am listening to her sing) This is, essentially, putting someone before God. I am kind of, in a small degree, worshiping her, not God when I'm listening to the song. 2:I like the song because I can blast in my car with the windows down and my sunglasses on and when I drive by people they will think 'Oh man, he's listening to that song with his sunglasses on and his windows down: what a cool guy' SOOOO embarrassing, but I have LITERALLY thought this. Pride. and 3: I like the beat. But why do I like the beat? This is where it gets hard and you have to REALLY analyze. What are you honestly thinking about? Seriously though: when you are watching "the office" what are you thinking about? Are you thinking, "I love my parents, I'm so blessed to have them in my life?" are you thinking "Wow, God really has given me such a beautiful world to live in" Perhaps you are thinking, "This is just like when Christ healed that blind man or when he told his disciples to come and follow him" In reality, you are probably thinking absolutely nothing. I'm being honest, you are probably not thinking about anything. That is why we (myself included!) like to 'relax' in front of the T.V. because we can shut down and do absolutely nothing. I give the example of that song and of that T.V. show because they are two things that I really enjoy. I'm prideful. I could be listening to, viewing, or participating in much more wholesome, worthwhile activities, but I don't. Because I love my song too much. Because I love my show too much. And I need to repent. I need to try harder. You can too. Try it this week. Go ahead. Try not listening to a song you really love...better yet: Analyze what T.V. show you are currently hooked on. Why do you like 'Pretty Little Liars?' Does 'Breaking Bad' teach me to serve others or am I really just thinking about nothing when I'm watching it? Try and get rid of a little bit of pride this week... and you know what, I'm going to not listen to 'Problem' once next week (can't say that this week because it's Tuesday and I've already listened to it at least four times) So, if you see me next week, go ahead, make me accountable for my pride. Keep me in check! And I'll humbly accept your loving advice on what YOU do in your life to keep pride away. Oh, and if you need me to keep you accountable for something, let me know. To close, let us look to the Savior, Jesus Christ, as our example in all things, but here in humility. Christ suffered and died for each of us. Would he rather have done something for himself? Had he been prideful, he might have. But we learn a great lesson from St. Matthew Chapter 26 and verse 39, "and he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Christ put God's will before his and Christ was blessed. Not with riches, not with popularity, but with God's gifts. We may not be blessed with popularity, money, or pleasures. That does not mean we won't be blessed with a clear mind, a greater love for a daughter, a mother, or a friend, a beautiful sunset or a quiet moment of peace. If we humble ourselves, we will receive all the blessings God would have for us to receive. I'm going to work on it, and I will pray for all of you out there who are working on it too, because I know how hard it is and I love you and want you each to be blessed as well.